Words from the Garden

Years ago, in grad school, I was an intern at a community garden. It wasn’t a typical one, this garden program belonging to the university and shared by other organizations utilizing the land for their own classes. Being a learning garden meant there was experimentation happening with new or different ways to plan and grow a garden. 

I had just read “The One-Straw Revolution,” where author Masanobu Fukuoka is growing rice in Japan. His philosophy was to plant the rice in such a way that no weeding was necessary. It was a no-work plan. I was enamored by this idea and wanted to try it. I set out in my own little corner plot to plant veggies and leave weeds alone. Well, after a while, it just looked like an abandoned plot and I was asked by my advisor to pull the weeds out. She didn’t want the seeds blowing over into my neighboring garden beds where individuals had worked hard to get their veggie only gardens producing. I understood her reasoning but felt defeated. I really wanted it to be a success. 

Earlier this spring, I had a friend over with her kids to play in the yard. She looked over at my garden and said, “so you decided not to plant anything this year?”. I replied confirming, with a clunk of heart down in my stomach. I had a lot going on in the garden, it was just hard to see it. You had to know what you were looking at. But it is not a veggie garden. I have fruit, flowers, a couple trees, and herbs, all growing companionably with weeds. 

If you were to look at my homeschooling, you might say I work much the same way there as I do with the garden. We learn things, the kids are working on some curriculum some of the time, but otherwise I educate in a looser, more creative and community based manner. My homeschool is not set to a clock like plants in nice rows. I don’t always know what we are going to work on in a given week, as I might not know what is going to pop up in the garden. I like to scatter seeds and then forget about them and be surprised when I see something of interest happening. Much in the same way, I offer ideas, inspiration, and an interactive environment to my kids and wait for them to catch something and then we roll with it. 

To me, curriculum is like a nice seed catalog. I love when they arrive in the mail. I pour over them, and then they sit on the shelf while the information integrates into my body and I take action from a place of inspiration. Each day is different but lives within a basic pattern of our habitual routines. Yet some days you see a great leap – like a new sprout, a flower blooming, or a plant making fruit. Suddenly the kids are reading, skip counting, or cooking their own oatmeal (hallelujah!). 

My garden isn’t exactly “no-work”. However, I am more relaxed about the weeds and maintain a healthy balance of work and letting them grow within reason. As long as the flowers are happily blooming and the berry plants making fruit, then I am satisfied. And more than satisfied I am delighted.    
  

Gathering

Fall carries with it a specific vision of simplicity: steamy cups of tea, soft knitted socks, fresh journals, and daydreams out of a rain dappled window. Air becomes rich with fragrance stirred up by the wind releasing the revitalizing aromas of earth soaked with rain, warmed with sun, ripened with harvest. It is the slower and more thoughtful companion to summer – the energetic one – invoking in me the desire to be still, to listen, to reflect. 

Over the last year I went in and out of reading Robin Wall Kimmerer’s book “Braiding Sweetgrass”. I did not take so long with it because the book was uninteresting. Conversely, it was so good that I savored every chapter, taking time to absorb her wisdom. Her thoughts those that I will return to again and again. 

I admire Kimmerer – imagining someday, somehow, I could mutate into a small part of who she is. Her spirit is expansive, enlivened through her connection with the natural world. Plants are not objects. Instead, they are living beings with a consciousness of their own that can be observed though a deepened perception of what communication is. Language becomes a more subtle shifting of ideas, occurrences, inspirations. When we meet a plant, it is our place to acknowledge it, to engage with it. Not turn a blind eye. For our rejection of the natural world’s life-force is simply a turning away from our own spirit, a failure to kindle our full potential.  

My six year old daughter is the epitome of a kindled spirit. I wouldn’t call her stubborn. I would just say she is equally enthusiastic about what she won’t do, as what she will. She won’t eat many things I make without putting up a stink, however, she will gladly taste licorice ferns on a hike, scour the garden for lemon-cucumbers, feast on the tiny drops of nectar from wildflowers, and will express how eager she is to try acorns. Last year she found some acorns in a park while we were visiting family in Texas. She stuffed them in her pockets, brought them back home on the plane, and proceeded to encourage me to help her shell them, soak them, and cook them so she could eat them. We ended up with about a spoonful of nutty acorns toasted in butter. She was unbelievably happy. This year, I made it a priority of mine to find her enough acorns to actually bake with. 

Unlike with almonds, I couldn’t just waltz into my grocery store and buy acorn flour. And the thought of buying some online seemed to me to defeat the purpose my daughter was determined to fulfill. She didn’t want my grocery store food. She wanted something she could engage with in its natural state, ripe with spirit. Where I had only fantasized and failed to actualize, my small exuberant child (unbeknownst to her) was pressing me to succeed. Her pure intentions – an Oak sapling herself – bursting forth into the world. 

With this on my mind I began to think more about Oak trees. I took out my “Handbook of Nature Study” and wrote down some questions for further study. I drew rough sketches of different kinds of Oak trees and their acorns. I read up in “Pacific Northwest Foraging” on which Oak trees might produce the tastiest acorns and where exactly I might find them. I began looking for Oak trees, looking for acorns. 

Soon after, while I was telling some friends about my interest in acorns, one of them shared with me that an event that was coming up – all about how to process acorns for consumption. It happened to be that very weekend, at a park I had just been too with my kids and had actually collected some acorns at.  

Beckoned by the call of the Oaks, the four of us (husband, self, and two kids) went to the class in the park. After listening to tell about eating acorns, grinding some up, and tasting delicious acorn flour muffins (complete with my favorite Fall seasonings of cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg), I asked the presenter where I could find some White Oak trees to gather acorns from. He flatly remarked that he didn’t know. 

Disappointed, I was hesitant to collect more from the park because I had just learned the Red Oak acorns weren’t as good. Despite that thought, my husband wasn’t going to let me leave empty handed. He bent down and began filling my canvas bag with acorns. “Honey, there are so many! They are so easy to collect!” he exclaimed as he poured handful after handful into my bag. 

I had also asked how many acorns it took to get enough to replicate the recipe for acorn muffins. With the reply being “about fifty”, my husband was bound to greatly exceed that number in his dutiful manner of collecting me acorns. 

Perhaps, Robin Wall Kimmerer might say, the Oaks have heard my daydreams and insist we begin a dance. Perhaps still, I have begun to listen. 

On Cinderella – It’s Not About the Prince!

Photo from the My Book House series

At some point I was told that all the princess fairy tales were meaningless, and possibly even harmful to the female immagination. I was discouragaed from believing a handsome prince would rescue a woman from a dire situation. Further, I was discouraged from believing that life was about handsome princes anyway. I should focus on school and career. Well none of that stopped me from harboring secret fantisies, neverthelesss, after reading no fewer than six verions of Cinderella to my kids this last week I have come up with my own theory about this princess story. And It is not about the handsome prince!

It is true that in each of the tales there is a royal wedding at the end. Yet, more importantly, in each of the tales is a character who does not stoop to the level of meanness seen in the characters around them. No matter how terrible others act towards the Cinderella, he/she (yes, there is a male Cinderella! His name is Becan, from the Irish story) always maintains a positive demeanor. They are not rescued perse from their circumstances either. Rather, they are rewarded in the end and granted their wish (which just so happens to typically be attending a grand ball which leads to the elevation of their circumstances). 

What I imagine these stories are trying to teach our children (and maybe even us adults too, wink-wink) is about keeping a good attitude and sticking to our morals, working hard, and eventually earning success. Your idea of success might not be going to that royal ball as Cinderella’s was. It might be earning a promotion at work, going back to school, practicing a hobby, etc. Keeping a positive attitude is essential. 

I decided recently that I needed a new tecnique for responding to the kids’ quarrels. They were escillating to a very disappointing place I couldn’t ignore. Neither of them were able to admit wrongdoing and instead continued to provoke each other, unable to quell the cycle. 

“Hi!….Let’s pause.” has become my catchprase. It was a needed replacement for the more meanacing and not entirely effective, “Hey!! Stop! What is going on?!” It brought my son’s eyes immediately to mine in conversation and support over accusation and controlling. Pleading his case…”she…..she…she!! and it’s not fair!!” I listened, I acknowledged his feelings, I justified his feelings, but redirected him to a better solution than grabbing from or hitting his sister.

Success for the kids is getting what they want immediately. They need help with patience. They need help asking nicely for things. And they need help with feelings of dissapointment, anger, and frustration. What Cinderella models is to not get caught up in the feelings of others, to let it go (take some deep breaths when the feelings run high!). My conversations with the kids turned from, “no hitting!”…”but, but!”, to “I know he/she just did that to you and you are really mad, but how can we make a better choice than they  just did?” In other words, how can we hold ourselves to our inner morals and not succumb to the injustice commited on us and hurt others in response? 

The most important thing I hope my children learn is how to sit with their feelings and be OK. How to move through them and not become so absorbed in their feelings they allow themselves to be controlled by their hurt. Dr. Meeker, author of the book “Strong Mothers, Strong Sons” writes, “So we moms must be there to teach this valuable trait of stepping up and taking ownership of our actions…we must help them understand the freedom that comes from admitting an offence committed and understand why it was wrong…and how to appropriately respond to the consequent embarassment and shame,” (262). This emotional freedom she speaks of will help pull us from the cycle of quarrel. Where we can communicate respectfully, regardless of the outcome. 

We wont always be successful, and we wont always get what we want. But we can practice taking the high road and keep our eyes focused on kindness with each other. We can help create a more peaceful kindgom (or homedom) which would be the ultimate success for me as a mother. 

                                                         Some of the many versions of Cinderella we read

     

​In Honor of the Little Things

Not long ago, the occasion to celebrate meant exclusively “lets have a drink”. There was no celebrating another person, their victories, or their greatness. That was only a mask – celebrating another person was the face driving the vehicle for the consumption of alcohol. Not only people, any cause was one to celebrate, “it’s Monday!”, “it’s Friday!”, “it’s a beautiful sunny day!”, “it’s a cozy winter day!” These were the touchstones to grab a six pack, go out for a beer, or take too many swigs of whiskey. 
From the beginning, alcohol was a third party in our relationship. A character who trumped me in most everything, always got attention, and was held as the prized mate. I tried to love it too, but it only made me sick. 

After 11 years of trying to tame the mighty beast consuming us, I swore off alcohol and left my husband. It was a healing space I took for my mind, body, and soul and a space which led me to seperate life into two relationships, the one with the alcohol, and the one with the man. The man and the alcohol had been so connected, they were always blamed together for disharmony. 

Yet, my giving up alcohol and his giving up alcohol were coincided. Now a year later we are united together and in the groove. A place where feelings of celebration have come alive in new, meaningful ways. 

Today, celebration means honoring another person’s true self. It means recommending we go out for a bowl of pho (his favorite food) or a trip to the Korean market (the only place to get cans of red pepper tuna). It is in him making me a cup of coffee at 5 in the morning. It is in him cooking dinner and watering the garden. Celebrate is what we do when we share our hearts, it is how we express love and appreciation for one another. 

We celebrate each other often, through gifts of thoughtfulness and recognition. To celebrate another person in this way is to say, “I honor you”. 

Where we once gave toasts we now give fist-bumps. So here is my fist out in honor of the little things, the day-to-day love. To pure hearts, clear minds, and renewed spirits. To 12 years of friendship, 5 years of marriage, and 1 year of sober living. To belly laughter and the joy of life in each others company. 

Story Power!

My son illustrating two people in love having orange juice.

Stories are what hold our social reality together. Physical reality takes care of itself – eat, wash, build shelter, and so on. Story reality, however, is actively created, shared, and upheld through common agreement. Various cultures have their own stories and thus in accordance have their own customs and ways of being (i.e. mannerisms, cultural beliefs).

Every now and then I get the bug to categorize my homeschooling method. In this way I bring my mind into alignment with a given homeschool story line, complete with educational beliefs, mannerisms, and ways of being.

Sure, sometimes I like to make up my own ideas about what the ideal homeschool will look like: gardening together, playing outside, travel, wild foraging, and sustainable living. Other times, I mix and match the story elements of developed homeschool methods such as Waldorf and Charlotte Mason.

As much as I admire the concept, I have never been the beautiful, crafty, homespun wool, Waldorf mom. I do perhaps flow with some Waldorf practices, such as reading kind and gentle stories in the early years, watercoloring, and taking up a slower mindful approach to living in tune with the rhythms of nature.

I am also not a Charlotte Mason educator. My personality is more lenient then the tight schedule bound curriculum provides. Although I love the nature studies and call to studying topics through living books.

But then, Waldorf teachers are guided to read the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales which are pretty frightening. And Charlotte Mason followers are given instruction for teaching the Bible (also containing frightening stories).

As a sensitive person I cringe at violent stories – be them Fairy Tales, Greek Myths, famous plays or wisdom from The Bible. Growing up watching Disney movies, I hated the parts where a villianous character took over the screen. I wished I could cut out all the scary parts and watch the lovely animated stories in peace.

I can’t imagine sharing stories about murder with my children. Is it denial? Am I trying to protect them from the terrors and sorrows of the world as long as I can?

My son (now almost 6 years old) has long been fascinated with superheros. I tried for a time, and unsuccesfully at that, to redirect him to other adventurous tales. Instead I found myself grudgingly seperating those versions of the heroic triumphs which I found acceptable from those I found too graphic in their language or illustration. “Bedtime for Batman”, sure babe, we can read that one. Still, the grocery store and library are full of bright images of flashy characters fighting one another.

What is it about all these violent stories that has had people captivated for generation after generation? Why are they so prevalent? What is their value? Can’t we just read Ghandi and call it good? Doesn’t Jesus speak about kindness and compassion?

I consider myself a spiritual person. I pray, I believe in a Higher Power, I value the teachings of Jesus, and I try to align my mind and actions with compassion and understanding.

My ultimate question is, how do I bring home stories that are full of wisdom, spiritual depth and beauty? Will they have to be violent in order to convey their meaning? Are the struggles meant to offer our children (and our selves) tools to overcome the meanness we will inevidablly encounter in our life? To battle the feelings of anger, jealousy, or despair that take us into their grip?

I have tried to find the homeschooling method that most fits with a lifestyle of non-violence. Despite my efforts, even as I write this my daughter speaks the words “kill” and “defeat” as she watches her dad play an old arcade game on his phone. Yet, are my children mean-spirited? No. Are they playful, imaginative, and loving? Yes. Do they like dramatic storytelling? Yes. Do they wrestle with fear? Yes. Do they at times loose control of their emotions and fight with one another? Yes. Do they identify with the hero archtype? Yes.

As my heart explodes with love, I realize my children are growing. Expanding our adventures in the written word is a growing pain I have tried to ignore. So what will it be, a childrens’ Story Bible, Harry Potter, or some other fabulous tale of the battle between good and evil, the fight for life, peace and love?

What we learn through storytelling are directions for navigating our shared experience. Saying, this is how people speak, this is how they think, and this here story is how peoples’ actions and ways of being affect one another. We are all connected, therefore listen closely so you can form judgements for yourself and choose your own character.

One might even go as far as saying this is what education is all about, choosing who you want to be, what you want to be, and how your life will contribute to the greater whole. What will your story be in this life? What legacy will you leave behind for others?

February

I was feeling bored being cooped up in the Tiny House, despite my love for the sound of rain plunking on the gutters. I knew the kids were also feeling this by the amount of, “what can I do?”s that were coming out of my son’s mouth. So, naturally, I began looking for ways to liven up our days. 

I have historically not been good at setting time frames for accomplishing tasks. They get done, or they don’t, in a more free-for-all manner. Some days I call this good while other days I criticize my lack of discipline (especially when it comes to wanting to instill good discipline habits in my kids). In particular, with both of them learning to read, I want to provide a routine space for them to practice every day. If my kids missed getting a star on their reading chart last month, it was no fault of their own, only my lack of creating the space for them to make it happen. 

I adore freeplay. Watching my kids play make-believe together, listening to their complex story worlds is a highlight of my life. It has been my philosophy to let them be. However, I can tell when they have had enough of eachother and need my help to transition into something different. 

Having twins means they have always done everything together. Naturally, they are learning to read together, play the piano together, do math together, climb trees together, tell jokes together…..and you get the point. Since in the past I didn’t need to occupy a kid of a different age while I worked with an older one, I now have a tricky scenario to navigate. How do I keep one busy while I have one-on-one time with the other? I will add this to my growing list of “February Challenges”. 

Last month we did the Read Aloud Revival (RAR on Instagram) 31 day Reading Challenge that my kids want to have a repeat of this month. Plus, I am doing the Coffee and Books Challenge (Coffeeandbooks on Instagram) as well as the Children in Nature Challenge (Childreninnaturechallenge on Instagram). Perhaps I’ll put up an additional calendar with ways to occupy a child in a solo activity (I’m only half joking).

And so with February (and a Lunar Eclipse that I missed only due to clouds) I commence with my personal goals and fun challenges to inspire our brightening (and lengthening!) days. 

What are you feeling inspired by this month?  

Living and Stuff

​I was scrolling through my Instagram feed this morning when my eyes fell upon a picture of Courtney Carver’s book “Soulful Simplicity”. My first thought was, “lovely, but how could you stand there and buy it? I can’t buy books, I can’t even bring in more from the library…I currently have unread books waiting that I promised myself I would read…and…I live in a Tiny House…I literally have no where to store another book in waiting…” 
I have considered switching to e-books, a brilliant idea to reduce physical clutter…although, now, not only do I have a busy bookshelf (which by the way was supposed to someday turn into a full personal library, of course), I have a train of unread books on my Kindle shelf. Simplicity? Where?

But I went to the Overdrive app anyway. It was waitlisted. So I snuck on to Amazon to check the Kindle price – too much (free or $0.99 would have done it). Next to the book were listed several others on the same topic. I just looked at the titles and synopses. Sometimes, all I need is the inspiration of an idea, not the whole book. What stood out to me was that perhaps it was time for some radical giving. 

Over last summer I moved out of my Tiny House temporarily. I pulled everything out of the storage unit I had been keeping and moved into the basement of a friends house. During this time my housemate was reading the book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. I had read it before and did what I thought was my best, however, at the time I still had a full storage unit. I couldn’t really give myself credit for tidying up when I was hording a secret stash of stuff. 

Now was my time. I took those boxes I had relocated from storage into my friends basement and began opening them. I decided it wasn’t fair to only look at my husbands boxes – so I put those in front of him straight away and turned to my own. (I even tried to keep my mouth shut about my opinion on what he should do with his boxes.) 

We had spent two years in the Tiny House together and now I was looking at all the items from apartment living that were meant to belong in my “future house”, things like muffin tins (the TH doesn’t have an oven), a bunk bed, camping gear, and so on. What now? The Tiny House was only meant to be a two year stay while we saved enough money for something “real”. We still weren’t financially able to get into a house that we desired (we recently considered a trailer park but I became very sad upon driving through it and decided I couldn’t take all the cement…). 

Was I to keep holding on to all these belongings while waiting for that next phase of housing? Or, was I to let it all go and aquire new stuff when the future finally came? What was that future really going to be…and when…? I had never dreampt I would be in a Tiny House yet there I had been…I wondered where my life might lead me next and what it might feel like to REALLY let go of all this stuff. 

Interestingly enough, although I never dreampt of living in a Tiny House, I did dream of living in a simple cabin…or even in an RV, traveling around as a homeschool family. And never in my imagination was I worried about the “school materials” like board games and activity books I would need a closet for. Yet here I was, surrounded by items I thought I needed for my house, that I thought I needed for my homeschool. 

I took piles of old stored items to the donation center and kept working on recycling ancient paper work and discarding strange photos that were blurry or not interesting (how many photos did I have of me standing in front of a dolphin at Sea World? Why?).  

After a time I began moving back to the Tiny House…except…I still had a basement full of belongings…that obviously weren’t going to fit in my Tiny House. I had thought I was done decluttering…because all that’s left I really do enjoy (or think I do). I considered a storage unit again…but that seemed ridiculous…I considered moving to Texas near my sister and grandma, taking all my stuff with me…but my husband seems to have stalled out on the idea…So Tiny House living continues… as does the question, “what do I do with all my stuff”?

How do I navigate what really matters to me? Keeping stuff locked away for later, discarding all of it to live fully in the now, or trying to cram as much as possible in the smallest space available? 

I see above what I think my answer should be…then sneaks in the voice, “but what about that house you want…the one you don’t want to buy new furniture for…the one you need to put the bunk bed in?” 

What does it take, to stop focusing on the unknown “future” and truly live for the now, to be present and open to possibilities that may be hidding behind the distraction of a cool vinatage card table? (And I mean mine…not my husbands…because he has one too…)
Do you have your own purging story? I would love to hear. Share with me in the comments.

Buried Treasure

When I stopped repeating the story of what I didn’t want or didn’t think I had and instead turned my attention to believing in the unexpected, my brain switched from complaining about a problem to inviting in a solution.

Over and over again I discovered the power of this wonderful process.

When “I can’t afford a decent house” turned into “I have everything I need for the house I am meant to live in” I ended up sharing space with family where the kids could play freely in the yard I so badly wanted to have.

When “Exercise programs just aren’t for me” turned into “I love exercising in ways that are fun” I found a fitness class that was perfect for me (see Post).

And frequently, when I lost my keys, “I can’t find my keys” turned into, “where are my keys?” and I found them (with the exception of the time my then 2 year old son told me he threw them off the balcony of our apartment into the blackberry bushes).

Seeing how new things were working out lead me to try this technique on my relationship. After nearly eleven years, it still wasn’t functioning in a healthy way. So I decided to re-narrate stories I was telling myself. Instead of complaining, critiquing, and engaging in power struggles, I changed my tune to appreciation, surrendering to a higher power to guide me, and affirming character traits that I wanted to bring to my relationship.

Not only did I begin to step into the better person I wanted to be, I started telling myself how fabulous my dream partner was as if a real person had just walked into my life. This was not a form of denial but of re-creation. My husband wouldn’t stop drinking alcohol and getting drunk regularly. Instead of trying to change him, I was going to change my relationship to him. I gave myself permission to leave. I could let go of the toxic relationship and create a healthy relationship. I wanted our two kids to grow up knowing what a healthy, happy family life was.

What I didn’t expect was for my husband to become a partner in co-creating that healthy relationship with me. When I walked out, we were both able to take a step back and look at the ways we had maintained the unhealthy relationship together. It was not just him. I had my anger, I had my patterns of pain that were not aligned with the better person I knew I was inside and wanted to project into the world.

Hiking my own mountain and looking into myself to transform negative stories about my life into affirmations of love and gratitude, I put shovel to earth, and uncovered the glittering treasures that were within. My own inner strength, my connection and trust in a power greater than myself that is loving and supportive, lead me to see the ways that I was cared for and guided to make positive changes.

Not in asking someone else to change, rather, asking what I could change has empowered me to act from a place of courage, self-worth, and compassion. It has allowed me to forgive myself and forgive others.

I cannot underestimate the power of story. Stories are acts of creation, they are invitations, they are affirmations of the way things are and the way things will be or can be. Complaining kept me stuck in a story of an unhealthy relationship. Opening to new possibilities, shifting my energy from a place of anger, bitterness, and judgment, into gratitude and appreciation, valuing myself, seeking strength and guidance from a higher power, and inviting in love at a deeper level has lead to a new understanding of how I can show up better in the world.

I am truly grateful that my husband is shifting his patterns as well, choosing sobriety and collaborating to bring a shared vision of family come together.

Earlier this evening we played the board game “My First Stone Age” as a healthy, happy family – fully present to one another and the moment. A dream come true.

As the New Year draws closer and resolutions are being written down or spoken into the wind, what do you intend to create for yourself? How do you intend to show up for yourself in 2018? What stories will you re-write?

Resolutions in Motion

You read (in my post) last week that I was declaring myself financially able and enthusiastically ready to shop locally. It has seemed easy in the past to let myself fall back on old habits of shopping at corporate chains because it is perceivably faster and cheaper. But shifting my perceptions through affirmations of the opposite of what I had been doing is opening me up to see opportunities available to meet my intentions.

After writing the post I decided that I was going to begin exploring what shopping locally really meant to me. Is it ONLY getting food from Farmers Market? Is it shopping at the locally owned grocer? Is it buying Christmas gifts at locally owned stores? These are important questions because they can become ways that I sabotage myself. If I set too many limits right away then my goal of shopping locally could become difficult or impossible to sustain.

My first need for groceries landed me in the local grocer. But I kept in mind items I would find at the Farmers Market to guide my shopping. Although not everything I bought was made or produced locally, I acknowledged my process and my success at even beginning the journey. Every time I affirm success I invite in more success. The opposite – finding fault in my shopping – would only lead me into a bad attitude and lack of desire to continue trying or exploring.

Maintaining openness and a sense of adventure gives me inspiration to try new things. There is a small produce stand down the street from where I have been living the past few months. Now seemed like a good time to finally go down there. Since I had driven somewhere each day, I decided Thursday would be the day to walk with the kids for some groceries. I didn’t check where their food comes from, they had avocadoes available so I know its not all locally grown, but the produce stand itself meets the goal of local. It was an added plus that we had a no driving day!

I intended to go to Farmers Market on Saturday. I didn’t happen. I almost gave myself a hard time about how this shopping locally thing wasn’t going to work for me if I never went to Farmers Market. Instead, I told myself it was OK because I did my writing at a local tea house this weekend rather than at the Coffee-shop-that-shall-not-be-named. I also purchased loose leaf tea from the tea house to drink during the week, replacing the boxes of tea that I otherwise would have bought from the store.

Then I got a surprise later in the day. Have you ever heard of “Urban Gleaners”? If not, they are a non-profit organization that collects food from around town that would otherwise go to waste and brings it to places like community centers for people to have free. Well, they happened to be set up at the community center we went swimming at. My husband walked over to the tables, grabbed an apple, then walked away. I, on the other hand, saw dinner. A baggie of pre-cooked Spanish rice, one with precooked black beans and chopped cilantro, a pack of organic tortillas, and I was making tacos!

See, despite not making it to Farmers Market this week I found numerous ways to explore what “shop local” meant to me and gave myself credit for the choices and changes I did make to bring my resolution into motion. (I even picked up a couple Christmas presents from locally owned stores, more success!)

Part of setting resolutions and saying affirmations is exploring how opportunities show up and how I bring to life my intentions in unexpected ways. Synchronicity, new ideas, inspired action, and shifted perceptions all come when I am open to the possibilities.

Are you wondering about what your New Year’s Resolutions will be for 2018? Read my last post on how to rephrase them in a way that will help you bring them into being. You can find that post here.

Have you changed an old story into a new one that resulted in positive change? Share below in the comments.

Inviting the New Year

The technique I used for making one of my most elusive resolutions happen resulted in the actual manifestation of an opportunity (read that Post).

With such surprising success, I have decided to rephrase my intentions for 2018 the same way.

In the past my resolution list has looked something like this:

• Eat healthy
• Exercise
• Shop locally

They are goals in line with my values for well-being and sustainability. Yet, with all of them success was temporary or partial.  Somewhere along the way I walked back toward the old worn path of past habits.

But intentions are supposed to be life changing, action producing, miracle workers, right?

Yes, unless there is a secret backstory taking up all the room in the brain, causing me to remain on that same old path, doing the same old things, and seeing the same old world.

What do these backstories look like? “I am just going to go the old way because it’s: easier, comfortable, familiar, cheaper, faster…because I can do better: later, tomorrow, next time, next year…because I’m: tired, overwhelmed, in hurry, short on money.”

Looking at these backstories is like laying out a platter of keys to help me unlock some new doors. These are the real stories that need to be re-written in order for me to find success with my goals and intentions. It doesn’t matter how nicely I say shopping locally is, unless I can release the problems behind them that are creating resistance.

Pam Grout tells me in her book E Cubed that in order to invite real change I need to adjust the language I use, “[the troubles I have been seeing are] nothing but the harvest of words [I] spoke up until now.”

Using her suggestion to change my story into something positive, into what I actually want, my new resolution would go something like this (and meant to be spoken aloud on the regular so that I can find evidence of its truth):

“I have all the money necessary and am filled with enthusiasm to shop locally and cook with the fresh seasonal ingredients I find at Farmers Markets.”

This sentence not only affirms that I will shop locally, but it also rephrases two underlying stories that were keeping me stuck, 1. That it’s too expensive to buy local, and 2. It’s too stressful to shop at Famers Markets because I can’t find what I need to fit my recipes.

What is going to happen by shopping locally is that my spending habits are going to shift, as is the way I decide what I am going to cook this week. And by affirming I am filled with enthusiasm rather than secretly harboring stress I can open up to the possibility that shopping locally won’t be a sustainability obligation but a fun-filled, life changing adventure.

Are you ready to change your life? What possibilities are you opening up to this year?